So, November has been a very eventful month and it is only
half over. As I often mention around this time of year, November is NationalNovel Writing Month and this year I was more prepared than I've ever been. This
showed in my first week word count of about 2000 words per day, when previously
I've struggled to get to the minimum of 1,667 words. Then week two came along
and I began to struggle with one of the story tracks. Words would fly out on
the other, but it was agonizing going for the problem track. Around this
time, I got very sick, my cat died and a few other things came up and I fell
behind. I would rally and catch up or catch up enough to make success still
possible, but then fall behind again when I was too sick to write or my daughter wouldn't nap. Finally, I came to realize that I was
walking a fine line between sanity and pushing myself to reach this goal that
no one but myself cared about. In other words I was just making myself sicker
and not dealing with the grief I felt over my cat. I contemplated quitting, but
the reality was that I could have pushed myself through to achieve this goal of
50,000 words so I wouldn't have to admit to myself that I was a quitter. Here’s
the thing - people always celebrate the
person who pushes through to achieve the impossible goal no matter what the
cost and ostracize the person who quits, but I think it takes even more courage
to quit than to keep going. At least I have always found it to be so. I feel as
if I have let everyone down, let myself down and in general created a big void
of disappointment. I would be easier to bottle up my own feelings than to disappoint and justify. Quitting is not easy for me and it was not easy this time,
but in the long term, I will be better in regards to my mental and physical health and the novel I am writing will be better. I will have time to figure
out what is wrong with the story instead of just pouring out bad drivel to get
a word count. And I will finish this story. I always do. Each Nano novel I have
written has been completed much later and is another 30-40K longer than the 50K
nano goal. So, I am taking the pressure off and taking a break to feel better.
However, it’s
not all sad news from this quarter. My Fairy-kissed Acorns made it into the
Small Works art show at the Torpedo factory. Victory is mine! I’m over the
moon! Unfortunately, the reception fell right at the beginning of my cold and I couldn't rally myself to attend, make new acquaintances and spread my plague to
as many as possible. I was extremely disappointed, but as if to make up for it,
I received a nice letter in the mail from an admirer of my drawing. How often
does that happen? I won’t copy the whole note here, even though I am tempted,
but will mention that the words “luxury, beautiful and vibrant colors” were
used in the letter. So nice!!!! I’m going to keep the note forever in my little
art scrap book! So, if you are ever impressed with someone’s creation, please
do not be afraid to tell them. I promise they will appreciate it. :)
In
conclusion, it has been a memorable month and will probably continue to be so.
Keep tuned for whatever comes next.
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